Happy #ComingOutDay from meeeee (a happy, hot mess of a bisexual!)
Whether you are 'out' or not, or letting some folks in a little bit at a time, or keeping yourself safe until you're ready, your queer identity is beautiful and dazzling and makes this world a better place in so many ways.
I'm so grateful I was able to spend the entire weekend devouring Jen Winston's book of essays on bisexuality (Greedy: Notes from a Bisexual Who Wants Too Much). They wrote in the intro that this was the book they wish they had growing up -- and oh my god I wish I had this book when I was growing up: "The problem isn't being greedy -- it's that systems function better when we don't demand what we deserve. As it turns out, I'm not straight. I'm not gay. The thing I am is a threat. Because now I understand that bisexuality isn't just an identity -- it's a lens through which to reimagine our world."
Once I started reading, I wasn't able to stop. It was one wonderful affirmation after another, making me laugh and cry in equal measure while validating a whooooolllleeeee lotta thoughts and questions I had in my head ever since I realized I felt different. As a people-pleaser, it was hella easy to internalize and accept when I was told that my bisexuality was fake, not real, some kind of cry for attention, a hormonal phase and/or not valid. Because it seemed to make other people happy (read: more comfortable) when I made myself smaller.
It took me years and years to reach the point where I could write my first bi heroine -- Tabitha Tyler -- telling Dean that she'd learned that her sexuality didn't exist or not exist based on other people believing in it. "It's mine, all mine. And I'm so proud of it."
It has taken me a lot of time. It has not been navigated easily nor has the journey made a lot of logical sense -- there was no clear shot from point A to point B. And, like all things, my bisexuality will continue to be a journey of discovery for my entire life. But it's mine, all mine, and I'm so proud of it.